I AM GUILTY!

I AM GUILTY!

(A Poem)

I sure am guilty for
Not having invented the
Light bomb or the atomic
Bulb. As I am guilty for
The questionable order
Or disorder of the world,
My words and sentences.

Even guilty I am of
My puny excuse of not
Having been born earlier
Than I was, to invent things
Before they were innovated.

Aye. I am guilty of not
Having been a flawless example,
A faithful guide to those
Who seem to be lost as we
All are on this reeling globe
With no pillar: no foundation.

Even guilty I am of
My perfect excuse that
I’ve often tried against
So great an avalanche of
Dissidents, obstinate rebels
And incorrigible fools who are
So wise they can’t be fools.

But no. And know,
I am sure not guilty
Of having been silent and
Dumb about the truth that
We are all lost on this futureless
Globe. And we are so foolish
Or so wise that we have, on the
Only willing guide, turned
Our haughty backs.

And know,
This Guide is still waiting.
This Guide will soon turn
His back on us.
And who will be guilty, then?

… Uche Aniagu

What We Become!

WHO SAYS FORTUNE-TELLING?


> Just recently I started wondering what really tells
> what a child would become in the future.I wondered if
> it had to do with the size or the physical dimensions
> of the growing child.I wondered if it had to do with
> some kind of flair,or passion or interests or some
> biological chemicals, or some blankety-blank ancestors
> or some parental decisions and prejudices.Then I
> couldn't help wondering if it had to do with God or
> the gods which is a euphemistic way of saying demons.
> I was not surprised to find that people had thought
> about this, for that explains why folks would look at
> a fine child like Moses and say no,we ain't giving him
> up to be killed.And I won't divulge they didn't see
> his criminal tendencies, that he'd one day rub
> someone out.Fullstop.

> Sure you can identify with the fact that folks would
> look at an argumentative child and tag him a future
> lawyer or the one good in Math they would make out to
> be a future Accountant.No, they don't say
> mathematician because few people know what jobs
> mathematicians can hold.They reckon people don't feed
> their families by going around solving math problems.
> Most people now know it doesn't work that way, at
> least not always. Because if it does, then all the
> girls with good looks would make models,meaning we'd
> have more models than women.Now,I haven't met a person
> yet who doesn't know how to argue,just that you've not
> come to disagree with what he thinks he knows
> everything about.There is more to being a lawyer than
> arguing,that is.

> I can't remember now what traits you identify a
> future medic with.Do they show much interest in caring
> for their sick relatives? Of course that would mean
> all women would become doctors.Or do they handle the
> needle well? No,that's out because no sane mom lets
> her kid play with the syringe.Do they just say they
> love to save people's lives?Because that's what they
> think doctors do, save people's lives.Does that
> explain why some doctors get sick of the whole thing
> when it dawns on them they can't on their own save a
> life? Oh, maybe it's the scrawl,yes,kids scrawl much
> like doctors do when they want to put down some
> prescription...or anything.

> A thrift collector just passed by where I'm sitted
> writng and she has just set me wondering whether
> she(as a child)kept her mom's change left in her purse
> only to surprise her at month end.And do you know rich
> families can't produce a professional chef since their
> kids hardly get to the kitchen to see if Mom puts salt
> in a cup of tea.

> Maybe welders started practising to fix their mom's
> broken spoons with their gummy saliva when they were
> kids.And shouldn't we have more artists than we can
> count since almost every child set out to draw
> something(whether they make it at the end is another
> thing)whenever he comes across a pencil? Now what do
> teeny-weeny builders of sandcastles have in common
> with architects?

> Enough!
> I think it's enough so I'll have time to point that
> we don't follow through with this fortune-telling.No
> one dares to tell that a kid that does good shoe
> polishing, like my wee cousin,would become a
> Shoeblack,at least not when the kid's parents are
> around.Kids that fix their bicycle tyres and tubes are
> never told they'd one day make veritable
> vulcanizers.And we insist these jobs are ok in
> themselves, just that they are not for our own
> kids,but for those of Mrs.What's-her-name.
> No,you all got me wrong.I didn't say you can't tell
> such things by the signs you see,only that there is
> more to what we become than what instincts we show as
> children,see? I remember when I was more a kid than I
> am now,(Mom says I'll still be her kid even when I get
> married and have my own kids)I was so good at drawing
> every one said I'd make a good artist.The last time I
> wanted to draw the photo of my elder sister hoping
> to give it to her as a present,I ended up with a young
> Chinese lady which means I still draw well,ok? And
> because I argue pretty well,I wass to become an
> unbeatable lawyer,and I'm not giving that one up like
> I did footballing,table-tennis playing,etc,etc.Even if
> it means reading law in my next life. Serious!
> Few years ago,I got it into my head that I can
> write well,but whenever I get about it what do you get but
> sheer repetitions,etc,etc.You see?

> H'm,maybe after all these you are asking,"What's
> your point?" Well, I'm not sure I have a point.My
> guess is that a lot of factors influence what on earth
> we become.Like the biological chemicals or genes,like
> our physique,like the ancestors,like our passions and
> interests,like our flairs,our parents,the society,our
> circumstances,like God,like the gods....My guess is
> that there is no end to what a man can become,no
> limit.

> My guess is that for some of us who have faith,ours'
> is a quite different case.John(not John Bull)in one of
> his epistles said that it has not yet been made known
> what we shall be.Only that when He appears,we shall be
like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.
Of course this is impossible...yes,with man!

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DON'T READ IF YOU HAVE A TEMPER!!

BETTER THAN YOU by Uche Aniagu
(A Poem)


If you think you are a man
I know I am a woman
If you think you are better
I know you are just different
If you think what makes you a man
Is your below-the-belt equipment
What, friend, is trapped between my dog’s hind limbs?
If you think it’s the folks under you
Wait till you see those at the Queen’s command
And for all I know she is no man
If you think what makes you a man
Is that you intend to wed a lass
The pope doesn’t intend to wed
And he is no less a man
Not to talk of the Western gay
If you think it’s ‘cause you have no gown
Nobody does nowadays
Even street Monkey Entertainer wears pants
And for crying out loud he’s no man, or is he?
If you think you have more money than the Queen
I’ll be a fool to tell how much I have
And you may be slaving away for the whore’s purse
If you think you have strength in your bones
And think me weaker than a vegetable
If you think you know my weak point
You simply forgot I know yours
You may keep the muscles, for all I care
I have the wit and can the muscles control
To serve me, myself and I
If you think it’s that you are the heir
Shame for reaping where you sowed naught
If you think you are superior
Of course you are to scarecrows, bald birds and whatnots
And even they could disagree
If you think you do things faster than me
You mean leaving sooner for kingdom come
If you think you are the head of the house
And I know I’m the heart of the home
In no time the head may become the skull
And if you think you you’re sick of being a man
Sorry, you are too chicken to be a woman!

I CAN TELL GOD'S HEIGHT!!

TELLING GOD’S HEIGHT

Let me for a moment pretend that I‘ve not been young all my life. I have an uncommon sympathy for short people and for not-so-tall people. Of course we have to make the distinction clear to you before anything else. This sympathy undoubtedly started when I first met their patriarch Zacchaeus from that Bible passage. Then I thought the Bible wanted us to take it out on anything that would stand in the way of meeting with the savior, including a short height or especially that. The sympathy grew as I got into my teenage; I figured girls didn’t fancy going out with shorties so they don’t risk having people think they are still kids going out with fellow kids. Everyone wanted to be a grown up.
I didn’t have to experience that humiliation because I was not short; I was rather small and teeny, and that means on an entirely different list or category in the demography. When you are little, you sort of have little problems and sometimes no problems. The girls, however, don’t grow so tall in comparison even when they make up for their heights with their stilettos. I was confident, though, that I would be tall, that I would rise one day because my maternal granddad (my godfather) was tall and common cultural sense assures you I don’t have a choice; you know, I can’t go against the grain.
And don’t bother asking how come I’m five foot seven. I believe my doctor - -especially the iconoclastic one that told me I shall keep growing till I’m forty. I believe him still even though I can’t find his new address so I can call in to know if new scientific discoveries have put something on top of that. Five to ten years on top of forty won’t be too bad.
Today, the pressure to be tall is more than intense. What with today’s teenagers growing so tall and so fast that their brains can’t keep up with their heights. My younger brother in his teenage is an honest- to-goodness example. You’d think he’s coming for a show of affection when he draws so close to you though he actually came to assure himself that your head can now get under his chin for shade even without touching the roof of it. Of course we wouldn’t be having squabbles with him if his brain is half as tall as he is proportionately.
In church today, this issue played itself out most awkwardly. Looking at the youth choir on the platform with the six foot six or so tall boy in the middle and you have a feeling you are looking at a spreadsheet representation of the trend the tall guy represents. Few of these teenagers have a straight answer about what they stand to gain as tall people. Fewer still have an idea what embarrassment real tall people go through all the time. Like being gaped at as if to tell them they are as tall as they are senseless, and as odd –looking as it gets.
So I find myself feeling more pity for the tall guys than for shorties. Especially for brainless teenagers who have to hit their heads at every door post before they can realize how tall they’ve grown in the past week. The twinge of that usually gets them to forget the advantage they had over others when they were in the crowd the other day. I guess that’s when they’d wish they were a few inches shorter. And often that is just a wish.
Sometimes, though, other people get affected in so many ways. We do. Like the other day at home when Victor, my teenage brother, made a pool out of our living room floor, rug and all, because we forgot to remind him he’d grown so tall that with that bucket of water on his head he’d need to kneel down through the door post to pre-empt any form of (excuse the term) inundation.
It’s that serious, really.
Having a tall person sit beside me in church almost always spoils my Sunday service. Why with the way they make you look so short in comparison, even shorter than you really are. It is often that I imagine we’d be better off without these tall people. I am sure my fellow short people won’t in any case give people such trouble; people who are anything but responsible for their heights.
The truth is some of these other guys have figured some big advantage could come out of this, especially in the playing field and particularly in basketball which is probably the only sport that welcomes humanoid iroko trees. And I usually wonder if they get those guys to take some things if they aren’t as tall as they want them till they won’t need to leap an inch to get a basket. Some people think that’s how they don’t get the best of life outside the basketball court. Little wonder I seldom see exceptionally tall people working for public or private corporations. May be employers figure clients may be uncomfortable around these brothers of ours.
Of course you know I’m kidding; both about short people and tall. In most cases neither you nor I am responsible for your height. You and I don’t necessarily have to believe it before it’s true that God made you the way you are and the way you are getting. The squeamish would have to forgive me when I say even God is as short as he is tall. Unless, of course, he created the one and not the other.

Uche Aniagu.